The Dentist & The Eye Doctor

I hate them.

Well, "hate" is a strong word.  But... yeh... I hate them.

I like when my teeth feel clean - so I like that.  And honestly - the absolute WORST part of walking into the dentists' office - is the smell!  You know how all of the casinos/hotels in Vegas are going to cleaner, fresher air to breathe?  They pump their own signature smell through all of the vents so non-smokers don't have to smell the smokers' smoke.  Do dentists do that?  Because if they do - their signature smell could use a MAJOR overhaul.  

So I don't really HATE the dentist.  He's a great guy.  His hygienists are brutal though, right?  They scrape and prod and do that whole 1-4-3-2-2-2-4-2-3-2 needle in your gums thing.  You seriously have to have some part of Satan in you to have that job.  I suppose, though, even they are just doing their jobs.  It's the ones that TALK to you when they are scraping and you're drooling and they're sucking and oh... best yet... ask you questions when they have those x-ray cardboard things in your mouth AND... if you're me with a very healthy gag reflex, just trying not to gag while they ask the question, step from the room, press the button and come and stick that gaggy thing on the other side.  All the while, you haven't answered the question because if you had you'd 1) mess up the x-ray and 2) sound something like this:  "oiauhfh afkiessstp  slllpgh"

All of that aside - it feels good to leave the dentist.  It's just that smell...

Now the eye doctor is starting to rank right up there as "Satan-esque" for me.  For years we could just go to Costco, he'd do the puff in your eye and boom, I had a new prescription for my contacts.  But with new insurance the past couple of years I've HAD to go to an ACTUAL eye care shop.  Today I was dilated... good and dilated.  I'm not even sure if my spelling is accurate in this post.  I can't see squat!  

But this place last year - charged me extra to do the "contact" screening even though I told them - I DO NOT WEAR, NOR WILL I ORDER - glasses.  But still, I had to pay.  I was not happy about this.  Next they moved me from 3 rooms.  I didn't smell, I had showered, I wasn't wearing an Ozzy Osbourne t-shirt.  I wasn't sure what it was until I saw the older woman with diamonds drizzling all over her - that they placed in the room I had started out in.  I saw where I fit in their priorities, even with me getting there first and having an appointment.  Mark number 2.  

So I had my yearly visit today and I should have taken the time to find another place but it's so close by and THANK GOD I didn't go further - because they dilated the bejeezus out of my eyes.  I'm pretty sure it was intentional.  Mark number 3.  

BUT... she was not happy with my numbers from what her assistant put in and what they were last year (at her shop) and prior years (at Costco) so she took the time with me, didn't transfer me room after room and actually found that at 43 - the age when most people are starting to wear bifocals - that my vision is actually "very robust" in that facet and I wasn't going to need them any time soon.  In fact, my vision is improving.  Yep.  Weird.  She did her tests THREE times and my prescription in my right eye has gone from a 2.75 to a 2.0 and my left eye from a 1.75 to a 1.5.  

Sooooo glad I went for my run this morning prior to the 8 AM appointment!  I had told The Dad my original plan was to drive there, go to the appointment, run my loop after, end back up at Black Betty, get my Starbucks and drive home.  Had I done that - I'm sure to have been hit by several cars, run into several bushes and perhaps lost my way.  I feel mostly blind right now.  I didn't even feel like I could walk into Albertsons and get some milk - for my three little Minns who will all come home from work - ready for a tall glass of milk.  Driving home was stupid.  

The only thing I can do now is put on my shades and go chill on the deck with the hounds until it wears off.  tik tok tik tok...