Jack - the dog.
...after emptying his bowels on the downstairs bathroom floor sometime this morning between the hours of 5 AM when Wack & Blue Eyes head out to work and 10:30 AM when The Wiz finally wandered in there.
What's odd is that Jack didn't try to tell me that he needed to go outside with his usual "Uh hey... I need to go... like... really go... if you know what I mean" bark. So that helped make this morning fairly shitty. Yes... pun intended.
Now Jack had been constipated this week and I could tell after I mowed the other day. Jack has this knack for taking the first freshy on my freshly mowed lawn. Usually as I'm mowing. It always amazes me that for a dog that takes care in the morning to make sure no one is watching... that he will line up to go number two as I'm mowing. This is new. He hasn't done this all the years I've been mowing (which is like 5) so this is new "behavior", if you will. And not my favorite Jack "thing".
So the other day - he actually went a fairly decent number 2. I remember. I was out there. The lawn was insanely long though due to the Senske service and fertilizing the week before so I finished up before picking up his latest treasure. As I mowed though, I was finding little mushrooms in the longer grass. Personally, we were thinking that the Senske service probably should have taken care to make sure those didn't pop up - but they fertilized and then it rained. And rained & rained and I think it just fostered a really nice mushroom growing climate in that long grass. I had noticed Jack out there later that afternoon nosing around and remembered - JACK is our dog that likes to EAT those mushrooms. I had tried to rake them up with the pooper scooper when I was done but clearly... as evidenced on the bathroom floor this morning... did not get them all. Or enough of them.
I noticed later that afternoon while I was on a call that Jack was having issues with his after dinner dump (this is really pleasant, right?) and I even tried to point it out to The Dad while he changed and I listened intently to the conversation coming from the other side of the phone. I knew then... that if Jack was struggling - at some point... a floor, carpet or part of my freshly mowed back yard were eventually going to pay for it. Crap. Yes. Again, pun intended.
Jack did his "Let me out" bark a few times last night and always from downstairs. Jeez Jack, we're all upstairs and you can go out from up here. Come tell us up here. What's the deal? But nooo.... we race down the stairs because we know that bark. Shockingly enough, he didn't do it at all last night OR this morning. I know. I was here. Sitting here working intently on my computer.
What I heard was #7 say "Mooooommmm! We've got a problem." What he meant by that was "Mom, there's a ton of shit in the bathroom down here that you need to clean up!"
So. That was awesome. As The Dad and #7 pondered over who was the culprit - I said without a doubt - that it WAS Jack. I was sure. They tended NOT to believe me. Not so shocking. But once they left for jobs and the dump (haha... yes really. #7 cleaned out his house in Cheney and was taking a boatload out to the dump, uncanny timing, if I do say so myself) Jack came in and laid next to me while I clicked away. And his stomach gurgled and gurgled and gurgled.
Yes. It was Jack. I only hope as he relieved himself and caused more work for me today - that those mushrooms helped him to feel no shame. Then again, he's a boy and boys sometimes talk about their...
Well, you get the idea.
The day is half over and isn't quite as crappy as this morning was. <sigh>
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